Back by popular demand (sort of)...the search for everybody's favorite brain-eating Führer continues
For the moment, Orac was free of them all, awash in the ether of the network, studying the many terrabytes of data that he could process every microsecond lazily, savoring the sheer joy of communing with nearly every computer in the sector simultaneously. He was so engrossed in his pursuits that he almost didn't notice the data, data that would constitute evidence.
Evidence of the return of a creature for whom he had been searching, a creature whom he had despaired of ever finding because of a lack of activity over the last four months.
Evidence that might lead Orac to that very creature with a hunger for human brains and bad historical analogies.
Evidence that could only come from a victim of the monster, in this case, a man named Erik Rush writing for a network publication whose utter lack of logic never ceased to amaze Orac. Rush's writings definitely revealed evidence of a recent attack by the undead dictator:
Those who believe this [that the Holocaust never happened] are generally regarded by the majority of people (at least in the West) to be dangerously deluded, if not outright evil. American Nazis and other white supremacists who proffer these arguments in particular are believed to operate at a moral and philosophical level so ignoble as to relegate them to continued vigilant scrutiny, but little more.
Yet the incremental attainment of power on the part of the Nazis in Germany, their duplicity and their denials during their early days parallels the actions of the Left in recent years to a chilling degree, particularly concerning their vociferous denials with respect to attacks on Christianity.
Over the last few years, an increasing number of the propagandized and politically corrected have taken notice of the Left's exertions in the area of endeavoring to drive traditional values, religion, and finally Christianity itself from society in the form of attacks on traditions and public laws with bases in Judeo-Christian convention and those who would uphold them.
And it wasn't:
And it's not just the American Civil Liberties Union, which many complain is spearheading this effort. I won't validate them by naming the organizations, but, as Franklin Graham stated, there are indeed groups of Americans who are dedicated to eradicating Christianity completely, if at all possible.
But no, they say: You see, this backlash against the "attack on religion and Christmas" thing is just a fabrication of a handful of right-wing zealots, inflammatory news commentators and radio talk-show hosts – not the 85-plus percent Americans who identify themselves as Christians and see their faith being driven back to first-century, almost criminal status.
To me, that sounds a lot like the pre-World War II assertions that the Jews were the name of Germany's pain and the postwar contention that the Holocaust was a Zionist fabrication.
Hitler himself declared decades before he was able to actualize his monstrous programs precisely what he intended to do, as many of America's enemies, at home and abroad, are doing right now.
In other words, he was claiming that rhetoric against Christians today is equivalent to the Nazi rhetoric that ultimately led to the construction of death camps and gas chambers.
Orac was almost surprised that Rush hadn't proposed that those evil atheists (with the help of the ACLU, of course) wanted to start building death camps themselves, only this time with Christians rather than Jews as the victims. (Perhaps that would be Rush's next article.) Indeed, Rush's jaw-droppingly bad analogy was especially ironic, given that Hitler intentionally (and cynically) coopted Christian imagery and beliefs, particularly its history of anti-Semitism, to help him fuel Jew hatred in Germany and produce the necessary preconditions for Germans to support the elimination of Jews. Only this time, if we are to believe Rush, it is the evil atheists and the ACLU who are trying to persecute and "eliminate" a religion to which at least 80% of the nation describes itself as belonging and where Christmas is a observed as a national holiday when the government shuts down, just as it does for the Fourth of July. It was very clear to Orac why Rush was shown wearing a hat in the picture that accompanied his article. Clearly a large chunk of his brain had been consumed to sate the hunger of the monster.
Even more clear to Orac was that the monster was unlikely to be sated by a meal consisting of such terribly thin gruel.
So offensive did Orac find this utter lack of logic and historical perspective that he had to purge his circuits by contemplating a nearby black hole and calculating its gravitational fields, just to amuse himself, before he could continue his search. Even he in his extensive knowledge gleaned from the millions of computers with which he interfaced simulataneously, had difficulty conceiving a worse use of argumentum ad Nazium.
For once, Orac was actually incorrect about something, a rare occurence.
For, deep within the blogosphere, a self-proclaimed "Christian libertarian" and fellow WorldNet Daily columnist had topped even Erik Rush's hyperbole. Vox Day, who never fails to disappoint when it comes to wingnuttery, given that he has in the past said that women should not be allowed to vote because they are "fascists at heart" and made excuses for rape had done it. Buried in the depths of his blog from three months earlier, Orac now perceived evidence that Vox, too, had had fallen victim to and had his brain eaten by the undead Führer, leading to his comparing feminists to Nazis and calling the comparison an "insult to Nazis everywhere." But there was a twist. Vox seemed to be making excuses for the Nazis, saying:
The primary victims of NASDAP ideology were the Jews, a group that the NASDAP intellectuals sincerely believed were secretly dominating the world. Thus, they waged a heroic - albeit insane - twilight struggle in a futile attempt at world revolution to free the German race from what they viewed as its economic oppression. They did so in the awareness that if they failed, their nation would likely be destroyed. They killed approximately six million Jews, most of whom were adults perfectly capable of defending themselves.
The NASDAP leadership directly confronted the militaries of three major world powers, the Soviet Union, Great Britain and the United States of America, in an attempt to establish totalitarian rule.
The primary victims of feminist ideology are unborn children, a group that the feminist leadership sincerely believes handicaps women's ability to obtain college degrees. Thus, they have waged a purely political battle in a futile attempt at ideological revolution to free the female gender from what they viewed as its biological oppression. They did so in the awareness that if they failed, women would be condemned to live hellish lives as wives and mothers. They have killed approximately 50 million children, all of whom were completely unable to defend themselves.
Any rational human being would harbor more respect for a Nazi than for a feminist. But then, neither Nazism nor feminism is designed to appeal to those handicapped with the ability to think rationally.
Given the lack of sustenance provided by such brains as Vox's and Rush Erik's, Orac had no doubt that the creature would attack again. Indeed, it rather puzzled him that the gap between attacks had been so long.
No longer able to motivate himself to continue to subject his circuits to more such idiocy and fearing that such illogic might corrupt the purity of his cyberneural pathways and Tarial cell, thus jeopardizing the entire galactic network, Orac decided to go back to contemplating the black hole in his sector for. It was far more relaxing and an exercise in pure mathematics and logic. The search for the undead Führer with a taste for human brains would have to wait a while. Besides, Orac's scientists were continuing the search for their own reasons, and he didn't want them to become too dependent on his advice. Otherwise they might interrupt his contemplation of the cosmos (not to mention his analysis of jokes and limericks) far more frequently than he could tolerate. In any case, even Orac's circuits needed to recharge after exposure to such concentrated doses of bad reasoning.
The Hitler Zombie would still be there when Orac was ready to seek him again.
Previous Hitler Zombie posts:
- Prelude: Who's Hitler Today?
- The zombie of Hitler's corpse is eating people's brains
- The Hitler zombie wants more brains to eat
- I fought the Hitler zombie, and the Hitler zombie won...maybe
- And on the seventh day, the Hitler zombie rested (I hope)
- The Hitler zombie smells thimerosal
- Arthur Caplan finds the Hitler zombie in bioethics
- Weekend of the Dead: The Hitler zombie escapes
- Weekend of the Dead, Part II: The rampage continues