Lonely? Need a wife?
Well, as always, the Bible has the answer
with its Top 15 Biblical Way to Acquire a Wife
I'm not sure I'd pick #8, though:
Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
-- David (I Samuel 18:27)
Well, fundamentalists do say that the Bible should be taken literally, but they are rather selective about which parts they mean. On the other hand, these particular fundamentalists do seem to have a bit of sense of humor about the Bible, which is unusual. Looking at the rest of their site is a bit disturbing, though. One can't help but wish they had a similar sense of humor about the loopier stuff they advocate. After all, if they can recognize that the ways men acquired wives in the list above shouldn't be applied to today's living, why can't they recognize other parts of the Bible that should be considered allegorical rather than literal?