Monday, January 23, 2006

Time for another episode of 24

In anticipation, I've found 24 Rules of the 24 Universe. Several examples lifted from the list:
  1. Given the chance to kill Jack Bauer, an evil-doer will not do so.
  2. Given the chance to kill another major ‘good’ character, there’s a 50/50 chance an evil-doer will do so.
  3. Given the chance to kill any other ‘good’ character, an evil-doer will do so.
  4. When guarding an exit door, police officers will always stand looking out said door, instead of back at the hallway, making it easy for any evil-doer to slide up behind them and take them out.
  5. When guarding an area, CTU and the police will leave one blatantly obvious exit path unguarded.
  6. The CTU motor pool issues only large American-made SUVs, typically silver.
  7. All evil-doers also drive large American-made SUVs, typically black.
  8. Most any problem can be solved by opening a port.
  9. If opening a port doesn’t solve the problem, then you must create a protocol.
  10. Protocols must be followed, unless you’re Jack Bauer.
  11. If you work for “Division,” you only care about protocols and covering your butt in case things go wrong.
  12. CTU’s systems can increase image resolution while zooming in to see fine details.
  13. CTU’s annual budget request for cubicle walls is always rejected, leading to the inability of anyone on the floor to do anything in secret.
My favorite one, however, is:
Those on the ‘good’ side get Macs. Evil-doers get PCs.
Which is as it should be.

One rule he forgot is this one:
Jack Bauer can go 24 hours without a trip to the bathroom.

6 example(s) of insolence returned:


At 1/23/2006 9:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those on the ‘good’ side get Macs. Evil-doers get PCs.

Is that true? I've noticed that the hardware in use at CTU is periodically replaced with prominently displayed logos (HP & Cisco this season) and standard issue cellphones will depend on the carrier who buys the most advertising time. No one in their right mind would use Sprint if they hoped to get a signal in the ceiling of an airport.

It would be fun to look at the equipment upgrades from season one to present.

 

At 1/23/2006 1:53 PM, Blogger MichaelBains said...

Those on the ‘good’ side get Macs. Evil-doers get PCs.

As a PC Support Technician, I feel that I am emminently qualified to say "well, duuuuhhh!" LOL!

Btw, I never even made it to Part II of the season-opening series. So much for Drama...

 

At 1/23/2006 3:49 PM, Blogger ebohlman said...

CTU’s systems can increase image resolution while zooming in to see fine details.

Every TV show that depicts the use of image-processing software does this. It's as a much of a cliche as computers beeping for every record scanned in a database search. The latter is merely silly; the former is really a type of deus ex machina used to patch up a plot hole.

 

At 1/23/2006 4:23 PM, Blogger John said...

CTU’s systems can increase image resolution while zooming in to see fine details.

I have seen this happen on other television crime shows that prominently feature technology. The surveillance cameras must have some pretty high resolution to see that kind of detail after so much magnification.

 

At 1/23/2006 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Jack Bauer can go 24 hours without a trip to the bathroom."

Yes, even when he's being tortured, or killed! That's what I call self-control!

For anyone who hasn't read it yet, here's a more general approach to the problem of why villains do those things they do:

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
(you have to scroll down a bit to get to the good stuff)

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
VKW

 

At 1/24/2006 1:15 AM, Blogger Jo said...

I'm too much a fan of 24 not to comment.
I think Jack and the others do their "eliminating", eating, short naps,nose blowing or picking while we're seeing the bad guys working on the evil scheme to take over the world, or the President doing his political biz.
I hate this President they have on this season. He's just so Polar Opp. from the last guy.

We need to add one more to the list:

If it's the first or last 30 minutes of a season premiere or finale...a major charecter will die.
(and like this season for me, almost make you throw your TV out the window.)

 

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