Time for another episode of 24
- Given the chance to kill Jack Bauer, an evil-doer will not do so.
- Given the chance to kill another major ‘good’ character, there’s a 50/50 chance an evil-doer will do so.
- Given the chance to kill any other ‘good’ character, an evil-doer will do so.
- When guarding an exit door, police officers will always stand looking out said door, instead of back at the hallway, making it easy for any evil-doer to slide up behind them and take them out.
- When guarding an area, CTU and the police will leave one blatantly obvious exit path unguarded.
- The CTU motor pool issues only large American-made SUVs, typically silver.
- All evil-doers also drive large American-made SUVs, typically black.
- Most any problem can be solved by opening a port.
- If opening a port doesn’t solve the problem, then you must create a protocol.
- Protocols must be followed, unless you’re Jack Bauer.
- If you work for “Division,” you only care about protocols and covering your butt in case things go wrong.
- CTU’s systems can increase image resolution while zooming in to see fine details.
- CTU’s annual budget request for cubicle walls is always rejected, leading to the inability of anyone on the floor to do anything in secret.
Those on the ‘good’ side get Macs. Evil-doers get PCs.
One rule he forgot is this one:
Jack Bauer can go 24 hours without a trip to the bathroom.